you would never find me here

even sane people will do the craziest thing

even healthy people will give it all up

not necessarily desperate and not necessarily depressed-

nothing more than an unfortunate

unconsidered,

unhappy decision,

like ordering the wrong thing for dinner.

joey and chloe

and i can only hope that i've influenced you in a good way, one that is real and outlasting, and that at in the final tally of things we have not done more harm than good

sometimes, i find myself asking my dog whom i usually refer to by name why he leads me on, being so excited to see me when i come home then not wanting to be bothered and squirming away the next. i tell people i'm at rock bottom because i like the weather here

x 3

I miss feeling like the most important thing in your world.

and walking through the streets with our hands held dangling together by loosely interlaced fingers

I miss burying into your warm body with your chest in my breath

and the softness of the skin between your ear and your neck against my lips.

I miss when you would look into my eyes and with yours tell me that you never want to be apart from me,

not that you need space, not that you need time alone,

just that you need your fingers in my hair and my everywhere and for me to dive into your soul.

I miss the moments of simple sincere passion when you declare that you will do anything for me and the dilapidated walls of my heart crumble once again,

but

these moments always give way to real life.

We can never escape

and the illusion of immortality that love gives is naive and vain

yesterday i was sparkling

Best Wishes

When you're riding around on the longboard I bought you, I hope it hits a curb

and I hope you bite your tongue when you fall,

and I hope some nasty old lady yells at you for taking up the whole sidewalk with your sprawl,

and I hope her cute dog growls at you while your board turns to splinters under the wheels of a U-Haul truck.

And when you finally make it to work, bruised and battered,

I hope your mean boss Tony yells at you and threatens to fire you,

and when you look to your nice boss Hoyt to defend you he just shrugs and says,

"well, you were late."

And on your way home, when you pass my apartment,

you'll think what those things that I said from my heart meant,

and you'll miss me and think about all of your time spent

in the best way possible, with me, and you'll buzz,

and no one will answer because I'm out having fun without you.

And I hope when you're home and you've lit up a joint,

you will feel that familiar stir in your loins,

I hope at this point it'll set in how life sucks without me.

But despite it all and above it all and most of all,

I hope you're happy with your choice.